HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has once again emerged from the benighted depths of STONEHELL victorious, returning to OLDE TOWYN with a glittering band of GOLD won from a GROOMSMAN'S HEADLESS CORPSE!
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| LARRY in the lead |
LARRY THE FRIEND led the way, joined as ever by BUENDAR THE GREENHORN alongside that Northlander newcomer and warrior woman HILDA THE HALF-GIANT, who quickly proved her mettle when the SWORDARM OF LAW was set against FOUL CHAOS!
Alongside were the faithful companions PON THE PORTER, MILO THE MEASURE, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC and DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, who were joined by recent converts DARIO THE DOGGED and GAMELLUS THE GIRDED--a doughty band indeed!
However, the loyalty of the former ALMSMEN was soon tested when Larry, scouting the ILLUSIVE WOOD, discovered four ROUGH MEN waiting within. When an ACCURSED GROUNDHOG gave him away, our Friendly Lurcher found himself CAUGHT DEAD TO RIGHTS!
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| Hail to Hilda! |
Thankfully, Buendar and Gamellus soon moved in to intercede and, after some TENSE NEGOTIATIONS, it was decided that all would be better off if our Heroes were allowed to pass unnoticed, with an offer of future employment extended to the brigands should they choose to give up their CHAOTIC WAYS.
Once inside STONEHELL proper, the TRUE TESTING began:
Firstly, it was the WHEEL OF FORTUNE, dedicated to the GREAT GOD CHANCE, a shrine which provides WEAL and WOE in equal measure—as Hilda and Buendar would soon discover, with Hilda earning GLORIOUS XP and Buendar an AWFUL CURSE of CRUEL FATE!
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| Sadly, Pat and Vanna do not appear |
Onward they pushed, with Larry in the lead, daring not the DRAGON'S CAVE—whose occupant the friendly lurcher DEFTLY DODGED—instead leaving behind a TASTY TRIBUTE for the giant gecko.
And finally, after many tribulations, our Heroes reached SAMADI'S TOMB!
Behold the Hall where Heroes sleep,
Their names enshrined, their glories deep.
The bold, the bright, the battle-scarred—
All honored here by Death’s regard.
Within these crypts, the mighty rest,
Each soul once tried, each fate confessed.
Their deeds were sung, their courage praised—
Their final acts forever raised.
And he who reigns o’er jest and gloom,
Who grins beneath the veil of doom—
Samadi, Saint of noble rest,
Receives them in eternal jest.
So enter ye with heads held high,
And steel your soul ‘neath watchful eye.
For laughter waits where valor fell—
And echoes loud in crypt and knell.
The above inscription was carved into the double-doors of that strange crypt, whose mocking verse hinted at the cruel dooms that claimed those within.
The first read thusly:
To win her smile he'd bring down the stars
Yet never a place within her memoirs.
Jewels turn the head, not quicken the heart.
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| Just tryna get sum brain |
The scene was a STRANGE TABLEAU--a corpse dressed as a groom at an altar with no bride--that was being AWFULLY SAVAGED by an UNHOLY BEAST: part MAN, part WOLF, and entirely UNDEAD!
In its TERRIBLE JAWS was the BLOODY BRAINS of the HEADLESS GROOM and, having been disturbed from its UNGODLY ANTHROPOPHAGY, it leapt upon Hilda with a HATEFUL FURY!
ALACK, some SINISTER PARALYTIC must've been set into the Beast's talons, as Hilda STIFFENED from a SIMPLE SCRATCH, but with STEELY SWORDS the UNHOLY THING was SOON DISPATCHED!
With their half-giant hamstrung, the Heroes snatched the wedding band from the brainless bridesman to make quick their escape from the UNDEREARTH. Thankfully, it was not long into the trek back to OLDE TOWYN that Hilda recovered her strength and, by the following day, Buendar's ill fortune had passed--a rousing success on all fronts!
PRAISE BE to the LORD OF LAW and may THAT PROUD STANDARD never falter!
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