SEPTEMBER 1 1425 ANNO DOMINI
HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has once again emerged from the benighted depths of STONEHELL victorious, returning to OLDE TOWYN with a glittering band of GOLD won from a GROOMSMAN'S HEADLESS CORPSE!
LARRY THE FRIEND led the way, joined as ever by BUENDAR THE GREENHORN alongside that Northlander newcomer and warrior woman HILDA THE HALF-GIANT, who quickly proved her mettle when the SWORDARM OF LAW was set against FOUL CHAOS!
Alongside were the faithful companions PON THE PORTER, MILO THE MEASURE, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC and DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, who were joined by recent converts DARIO THE DOGGED and GAMELLUS THE GIRDED--a doughty band indeed!
However, the loyalty of the former ALMSMEN was soon tested when Larry, scouting the ILLUSIVE WOOD, discovered four ROUGH MEN waiting within. When an ACCURSED GROUNDHOG gave him away, our Friendly Lurcher found himself CAUGHT DEAD TO RIGHTS!
Thankfully, Buendar and Gamellus soon moved in to intercede and, after some TENSE NEGOTIATIONS, it was decided that all would be better off if our Heroes were allowed to pass unnoticed, with an offer of future employment extended to the brigands should they choose to give up their CHAOTIC WAYS.
Once inside STONEHELL proper, the TRUE TESTING began:
Firstly, it was the WHEEL OF FORTUNE, dedicated to the GREAT GOD CHANCE, a shrine which provides WEAL and WOE in equal measure—as Hilda and Buendar would soon discover, with Hilda earning GLORIOUS XP and Buendar an AWFUL CURSE of CRUEL FATE!
The FOUNT OF THE LAUGHING BASS was next, hydrated by our Heroes to produce a foully poisonous sludge—which they were quick to keep, anticipating opportunities for EVIL DEEDS ahead.
Onward they pushed, with Larry in the lead, daring not the DRAGON'S CAVE—whose occupant the friendly lurcher DEFTLY DODGED—instead leaving behind a TASTY TRIBUTE for the giant gecko.
And finally, after many tribulations, our Heroes reached SAMADI'S TOMB!
Behold the Hall where Heroes sleep,
Their names enshrined, their glories deep.
The bold, the bright, the battle-scarred—
All honored here by Death’s regard.
Within these crypts, the mighty rest,
Each soul once tried, each fate confessed.
Their deeds were sung, their courage praised—
Their final acts forever raised.
And he who reigns o’er jest and gloom,
Who grins beneath the veil of doom—
Samadi, Saint of noble rest,
Receives them in eternal jest.
So enter ye with heads held high,
And steel your soul ‘neath watchful eye.
For laughter waits where valor fell—
And echoes loud in crypt and knell.
The above inscription was carved into the double-doors of that strange crypt, whose mocking verse hinted at the cruel dooms that claimed those within.
The first read thusly:
To win her smile he'd bring down the stars
Yet never a place within her memoirs.
Jewels turn the head, not quicken the heart.
Despite sounds of a TERRIBLE TWAINING within, our stalwarts GIRDED THEMSELVES for battle, suspecting that GLITTERING JEWELS must surely be BEHIND DOOR #1!
The scene was a STRANGE TABLEAU--a corpse dressed as a groom at an altar with no bride--that was being AWFULLY SAVAGED by an UNHOLY BEAST: part MAN, part WOLF, and entirely UNDEAD!
In its TERRIBLE JAWS was the BLOODY BRAINS of the HEADLESS GROOM and, having been disturbed from its UNGODLY ANTHROPOPHAGY, it leapt upon Hilda with a HATEFUL FURY!
ALACK, some SINISTER PARALYTIC must've been set into the Beast's talons, as Hilda STIFFENED from a SIMPLE SCRATCH, but with STEELY SWORDS the UNHOLY THING was SOON DISPATCHED!
With their half-giant hamstrung, the Heroes snatched the wedding band from the brainless bridesman to make quick their escape from the UNDEREARTH. Thankfully, it was not long into the trek back to OLDE TOWYN that Hilda recovered her strength and, by the following day, Buendar's ill fortune had passed--a rousing success on all fronts!
PRAISE BE to the LORD OF LAW and may THAT PROUD STANDARD never falter!
AUGUST 22 1425 ANNO DOMINI
HUZZAH! Once again, the COMPANY OF HEROES has returned from STONEHELL victorious against FIENDISH FOEMEN!
Firstly, BUENDAR would not allow a challenge to go unheeded, so sought SATISFACTION at the DUELLIST'S DOLMEN.
SADLY, our Fighting-Man soon discovered—much to his chagrin—that CLEMENT THE CALLOUS was no mere pup to be easily bested, but a HARD MAN indeed, leaving our greenhorn reeling and forced to undergo a painful PUBLIC APOLOGY.
SWEET VENGEANCE, it seems, will have to be sought on the JOUSTING FIELD come OCTOBER!
Despite this setback, the Company rallied valiantly, taking on several new recruits: DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, REMI THE ROTUND, the time-lost MILO THE MEASURE, and BLAWYNDIE THE DOG, even as they buried GUILLAUME and TRAYVON outside GREYSTONE CHAPEL. May the FALLEN rest in peace!
Before setting out for STONEHELL, the band joined a BLOOD-PACT with ANGUS THE ANALYTIC to exterminate those CHAOTIC CANNIBALS who slew his sword-brother. In gratitude, the cold-blooded mercenary provided a map to the BANDIT CAVES of the ALMSMEN—his former compatriots—along with a rough description of their numbers and routine.
A matter, it turned out, to be of immediate interest when LARRY THE FRIEND spied upon the Almsmen's forward camp in the ILLUSIVE WOOD. Inside, he found nearly a half-dozen ROUGH MEN lying in wait, eager to relieve the party of any TREASURES won from the UNDEREARTH.
Affronted by the LAWLESS TAXATION planned by the BRIGANDS, the Heroes set a snare of their own, drawing the thieves into a WEB OF THEIR OWN DECEIT!
Soon, planning and coordination would easily win the day for our Heroes, who suffered NARY A SCRATCH for their efforts while the brigands would be forced to lay down their arms after three of their number were quickly dispatched. The pair of survivors were captured, BAPTISED in the RIVER SHRILL and SAVED by the LORD OF LAW, to serve HIM against the CAUSE OF CHAOS!
PRAISE BE!
AUGUST 11 1425 ANNO DOMINI
ALACK! Beat thy breasts and tear thine hair, for the COMPANY OF HEROES has suffered TERRIBLE LOSSES!
Our adventure began well enough, as the former mercenaries GUILLAUME LE GRAND and ANGUS THE ANALYTIC were hired to protect the party's back rank.
Further, the Heroes learned more of the ROUGH MEN who they had previously faced, being the ALMSMEN, a company of VOLAND'S VENATORS who had been separated from the main force during a clash with the HOBGOBLYN FIFTH OCCUPATIONAL ARMY in the STONECROWS and had turned to banditry. Operating along the ELFROAD between OLDE TOWYN and MUR under the command of ZORREL and SONYA GNAST, former pirates said to have escaped the DOOM THAT CAME TO KORALGESH.
Scouting the ILLUSIVE WOOD and determining it to disguise a rude encampment—currently unoccupied—the troupe descended into HELL'S ANTECHAMBER in hopes of exploring further to the southwest.
Unfortunately, the expedition had but barely begun when MAGIC and GARGANTUA were unleashed upon a TRIO OF TERRIBLE TOADS that were passing by—and which quickly fled from the party's superior might!
Alas, in pursuit of said Toads our overeager gallants attracted the attention of a band more terrible still as a quartet of CANNIBAL CHAOS KILLERS emerged from the GATEWAY TO ADVENTURE, flanking the party's irregular rear guard.
And so it was that DOOM came onto our Heroes like a scythe cutting down wheat!
First was faithful TRAYVON, whose many years experience served him little as his head was split as a ripe melon. Soon after was GUILLAUME, plucked still fresh from the vine.
Finally, and perhaps most awfully, OLAGOXIA would be swiftly DISARMED by a well-placed scythe, her right hand severed cleanly off to land bloodily onto the floor of the DEATHTRAP DUNGEON!
The BERSERKERS were fast dispatched thereafter, the rage of Olagoxia's hounds spurring them on to BLOODY VENGEANCE!
But the day had already been lost, and those brave SCIONS OF LAW fled back to OLDE TOWYN, two BRAVE MEN lost and their witch-aspirant facing weeks of bedrest before being able to return to the adventuring life (as OLAGOXIA THE ONE-HANDED).
HAVE MERCY ON THEIR SOULS, LORD OF LIGHT, for today Trayvon and Guillaume come home to thee!
JULY 28 1425 ANNO DOMINI
HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has once again emerged from GORNATE FOREST, having braved the box canyon of STONEHELL and discovered HIDDEN SECRETS therein.
BUENDAR THE GREENHORN, OLAGOXIA THE WITCH-ASPIRANT, and LARRY THE FRIENDLY LURCHER decided to reconnoiter the remainder of the canyon, their original plan to delve deeper into the QUIET HALLS having been thrown into disarray when both BEEHIVE and MELCHIOR were beset by NIGHT VISIONS from their respective patrons following the week's developments (see Stonehell Broadsheet #4).
Ascending the steep switchback trail along the southern wall of the canyon, our brave troupe first assayed the twin caves along their route:
* The first, guarded by a CRAB SPIDER half as large as a MAN, held little of interest save some crude GOBLYN cave paintings, a vein of gypsum, and the forgotten remains of a primitive campsite.
* The second, a wolf's den, also was home to a pestilent shrine to OSTROGG standing over a FOUL CENOTE—swarming with invertebrates—which descended deeper into the UNDEREARTH.
* Finally, Buendar and Larry braved the top of the canyon, in so doing discovering a BANDIT CAVE filled with ROUGH MEN.
* Thusly Olagoxia found herself separated from her heroic companions when a half dozen more ROUGH MEN emerged from an ILLUSIVE FOREST nearby, seeking to help themselves to her PRECIOUS TREASURES while left unchaperoned in the WILDERLAND.
* As a BRIGAND WARBAND began to assemble at the Bandit Cave, having been alerted by Larry's heavy-footed approach, the scouts quickly retreated—just in time to find their witch-aspirant hightailing it to the top of the canyon, the heroic followers fast behind, as the Bad Dudes sought to make good on their jocular threats.
* Happily, the well-thrown BOULDER OF BUENDAR reduced the churlish pate of Olagoxia's would-be paramour into a fine mist, his headless corpse knocking the man behind him from the trail, the two dashed terribly by a terrible doom 100' below. The rest of the band broke and flew downmountain, leaving a clear path for our heroes to make a strategic retreat before the main force could muster behind.
PRAISE BE to HIM for our heroes glorious return!
JULY 21 1425 ANNO DOMINI
HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has returned to OLDE TOWYN harrowed and battered by their experience in STONEHELL but yet still blessed to walk away with their very lives!
The expedition started peacefully enough—a return to the TRASH HEAP, an examination of the SHADOW GALLERY, and the discovery of the stone ORACLE (who they dared not question)—before FOUL CHAOS struck, leaving the gallant troupe scattered to the four winds!
The trouble began with the examination of an ancient battleground outside the DOORS OF THE DUKE where apparitions of the deceased sent our heroes into a mad panic.
BEEHIVE, alone and without light, was lost in the QUIET HALLS among the dead, and stole forward into a grand hall filled with FIRE BEETLES.
Meanwhile, LARRY THE FRIEND, alongside VALAN and PON, ran into a nest of VILE PIGMEN and raised the alarm in so doing, stirring up a stampede of angry oinks.
Finally, BUENDAR and GIG ran into familiar territory, not far from MELCHIOR and TRAYVON, and they set out to recover their lost members.
Not long after our party were rejoined by Larry and company—with an army of Pigmen not far behind! Thanks to the lawful resolve of Brother Melchior, the heroes lived up to their name, heading deeper into the dungeon to recover their stray witchling, braving the Quiet Halls for the first time.
And none too soon, for Beehive was beset by a CRYPT SHADE, a malignant poltergeist that would have certainly been her doom were it not for the near-miraculous intervention of a troupe of SKELETONS, hell-sent from the DUKE OF BONES.
What a LORD OF THE PIT may expect in exchange for his intervention, however, remains to be seen...
Regardless, despite a run-in with the DRAGON—who seems to have a taste for rations—and a mysterious BLACK MARK on the sky, the party, reunited, made their way home safe and sound.
LORD OF LIGHT be praised!
JULY 14 1425 ANNO DOMINI
HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has once again emerged from HELL'S ANTECHAMBER, having faced the foul forces of CHAOS through the GATEWAY TO ADVENTURE and won the day through strength, skill, and wise judgement.
Sadly, however, it was an easy day for the porters PON and TRAYVON, as no treasures were to be carried forth from the benighted halls of STONEHELL this day.
Over the course of the expedition, our Heroes encountered:
* A company of SKELETONS that were shamed from the field by the Lawful exhortations of MELCHIOR THE ACOLYTE
* Trash COBRAS that were lulled to sleep by the enchantments of BEEHIVE THE WITCH-ASPIRANT
* A knot of GIANT TOADS that lunched on...
* GIANT RATS, which were busy disemboweling a PIGMAN corpse in a storage room full of bodies owned by...
* A crew of KOBOLDS that were willing to parley, revealing the existence of a community known as KOBOLD KORNERS that offers services to adventurers, as well as a band of PIGMEN to the South, undead-filled CRYPTS to the East, and a shrine to OSTROGG, KING OF PESTS that is accessible from one of the surface caves.
* And, of course, THE DRAGON. Or, at least a rough approximation thereof, being a 15' long GIANT GECKO which, luckily, was amenable to being bribed with rations.
JULY 7 1425 ANNO DOMINI
HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has returned once again to OLDE TOWYN, being joined by LOTHO THE HOBBIT and, having recovered a piece of MAGICAL CHALK from a rubbish pile, besting a 5' long FIRE BEETLE for the privilege of sifting through its trash.
Dismissing the remainder of the secondary caves, the Company resolved to enter STONEHELL proper, descending into HELL'S ANTECHAMBER.
However, after PON nearly met his end in a pit trap and supernatural forces seemed to stymie them at every turn, our Heroes decided that the day had grown overlong and it would be best to tackle the forces of CHAOS after a week's respite. . .
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