Stonehellions Campaign BBS: STONEHELL BROADSHEET #6

* ALACK! Once again, TORVALD'S TEN has faced STONEHELL and was bested by the DUNGEON ETERNAL.

The FORTRESS OF EXACTITUDE
now seems further away than ever...

* Continuing their exploration of the southern canyon wall, the gallants discovered an entrance into the SHRINE OF OSTROGG previously uncovered by the COMPANY OF HEROES.

* Yet, upon their descent into the WELL OF SACRIFICE they were quickly beset by all manner of INVERTEBRATE HORRORS, and a pair of 3' long BLACK BEETLES attached themselves to AMBROSE THE AGED ACOLYTE and the bounty-killer known as DONAL OF DOUGHKEEP.

AMBROSE THE ACOLYTE
Love's Fool

* Unwilling to let go of their prey no matter the abuses heaped upon them, the so-called DEATH-GRIP BEETLES nearly lived up to their names, leaving Ambrose HOVERING AT DEATH'S DOOR and Donal AWFULLY INJURED before they were forced to quit the field.

* Only by the LIGHT OF LAW was the woodwose-turned-holy man kept from his HEAVENLY FLIGHT--along with the tearful ministrations of CORDELIA THE CHASTE--while the Bowman from Doughkeep had to be carried from the field by GIG THE USELESS and VALAN THE VALIANT.

* AND SO, a dispirited troupe arrived back at OLDE TOWYN, led by a muck-stained and foul-looking TORVALD, the lot looking leaner and poorer yet after a pair of unsuccessful expeditions.

* ALARM! As KNIGHTS of all stripes start slowly filtering into OLDE TOWYN to add their names to the JOUSTING TOURNAMENT LIST, an event set to serve as a capstone to the FALCONI FEAST on the HY HOLIDAY of October, BUENDAR THE GREENHORN has discovered that, alas, not all who call themselves such are, in fact, TRUE KNIGHTS.

CLEMENT THE CALLOUS, false knight

* Whilst CAROUSING HIMSELF COCK-EYED at the TWO-HEADED CALF, Buendar was beset upon by CLEMENT THE CALLOUS, a robber knight reputed to be a HARD MAN. Hailing from ERILLION, 'Sir' Clement came to the MAIN-LAND to stalk the FOREST GORNATE in recent years in an (as-yet) fruitless search for a LORD to which he could swear fealty.

* The half-drunk Clement appeared to have enough WIT about him that he knew much about Buendar after they 'accidentally' collided en route to the OUTHOUSE, insulting in turn our heroic greenhorn's lineage, vintage, and recent acts of derring-do within STONEHELL.

* Unwilling to be reconciled, Sir Clement DEMANDS SATISFACTION and will only be sated with a PROPER JOUST—or, failing that, a SWORD-DUEL until the LESSER MAN YIELDS 'if too beggared to keep a horse'.

DONAL, bounty-killer
with a bone to pick

* DONAL OF DOUGHKEEP, having heard the news from his sickbed, calls Buendar to his suite, warning our hero that Clement is a known ruffian, and this is undoubtedly an attempt to build a name for himself prior to the joust proper. By targeting the weakest fighting man of some local repute and giving him a thorough trouncing, Clement assuredly 'seeks to discourage others from signing up for the List and give himself an unfair advantage.'

* Regrettably, although Donal would be happy to serve in Buendar's stead—"I've long waited for his bounty to be posted by the WARDEN RANGERS,"—his recent injuries prevent him from doing so. "I cannot rightly advise you, for in these matters a MAN must speak to his COURAGE ALONE," Donal insists, "But should you choose to face him in the DUELLIST'S DOLMEN atop MADDOC POINTE, I would act as your second, should need be."

* MERCIFULLY SIMPLE DUELLING RULES by C. KUTALIK.

* HMM. Midweek, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC approaches his employer, LARRY THE FRIENDLY LURCHER, his voice calmly detached even as his cheek are hotly stained by tears for his BELOVED BROTHER-IN-ARMS.

ANGUS THE ANALYTIC
Never forgives, drinks to forget

"I have determined that our company will require immediate successes to restore morale—a matter of some concern, as I am in need of STOUT MEN to see those unholy degenerates SLAIN TO THE LAST. Guillaume would do no less in my stead. As such, I have determined the best means to ensure our next victory."

* He pauses, face bland but dark eyes burning with a FEVERISH INTENSITY, and he studies Larry's face carefully as he continues:

* "If I had said previously that we know nothing of the ALMSMEN, that would have been a lie. We were fellow men-at-arms at one time, and remained on friendly terms, having parted but recently. Should your band enter into a BLOOD-PACT to RID THE EARTH of those CHAOS KILLERS who slew my sword-brother, I would be like to recall details of our former comrades hideout in gratitude. Such a fortuitous development would certainly help fund further expeditions and provide you with much-needed experience to face the challenges the await within STONEHELL. What say ye?"

* HUZZAH! OLAGOXIA THE ONE-HANDED, the recently-dismembered witch-aspirant of the COMPANY OF HEROES, is invited by ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE DARK to join the SIDEREAL SISTERHOOD in their observation of the PLANETARY PARADE as VENUS, JUPITER, SATURN, MERCURY, URANUS, and NEPTUNE march across the HEAVENS this night.

* The SKYCLAD CELEBRANTS honor the triple-goddess CHTHONIA TRIMORPHIA thusly:

Granny Gorgo

OLAGOXIA (as MAIDEN MORMO): Saturn and Mercury, the FLOWER MOON bids thee fair tidings!

ELVIRA (as the THOUSAND-FACED MOON): Jupiter and Venus, the BLOOD MOON bids thee fair passage! BERNADETH (as GRANNY GORGO): Neptune and Uranus, the WOLF MOON bids thee fare well!

Maiden Mormo

MAIDEN MORMO: REASON AND RESPONSIBILITY!

GRANNY GORGO: INNOVATION AND INTUITION!

THOUSAND-FACED MOON: LUCK AND LOVE!

<IN UNISON> GORGO! MORMO! THOUSAND-FACED MOON! HEAR OUR PLEA!

Thousand-Faced Moon

* Et cetera, so forth, and ever-onward until the HATEFUL SUN chased them home.

* Much is discussed among the WITCHES' COVEN under starlight, from the TRUE NATURE OF THE NIGHT to MOONDIALS and FALSE PROPHETS before moving onto more obscure topics, such as the LOST LIBRARY of MOGDA BUNN and even, it is said, rumors of a FORGOTTEN TEMPLE TO CHTHONIA TRIMORPHIA within STONEHELL itself, wherein the last MAIDENS OF MORMO—WHITE WITCHES ALL—were imprisoned decades past.

* Alas, it is not wise to spy overlong on a witch's doings, and as fair-haired Olagoxia has sadly CHOSEN A LIFE MORE MUNDANE after her recent UNHANDING, their business is no longer our own—though many a HAND-CRAFTED HOOK has been left to ROT ON THE LINE by the vagaries of CHANCE! SO MOTE IT BE!

at the TWO-HEADED CALF

COURTEOUS CARLO, recently returned from a failed stint as VALET for PINO BABULO of MUR. Carlo was let go when determined impolitic to retain due to longstanding grudge against CHIRICO CAPULLO, son of that most puissant patriarch BEPPO CAPULLO. A former squire, Carlo was hobbled by Chirico's warhorse, and now is an aging dandy who works as a valet and bodyman. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "for his beloved lapdog, LUSTE".

MILO THE MEASURE, scribe and former apprentice to SHALFEY THE SAGE, Keeper of Wisdom at the TOWER OF THE HEAVENS, who Milo describes as a "real drag" and "harshing his vibe". Offers his services as a MAPPER, volunteering that he "knows this D&D shit" and believes adventure to be his "best chance to get off of this dump". 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild, stipulating that it should pay for a "radical Viking sendoff".

SAER THE SCAMP, loves sweets, mischief, and merrymaking. Sadly, his father, JOBBA THE LOGGER, disappeared not long after spotting strange FETCH-LIGHTS near the ruins of an OLD TOWER in the FOREST GORNATE. Now must make his own way in the world as a LINKBOY. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "to pay for a proper funeral for me and Papa".

OSBERT THE BRIGHT, said to be late of CAERMOR, a remote highland village known for its dour and hateful folk whose offish reticence has earned them little favor with the people of Olde Towyn. Unlike the common Caermorian, however, Osbert is quick-witted, loquacious, and adventurous—perhaps too much so, for a mere LINKBOY. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "towards founding a proper LAWFUL CHURCH in me old home". Seeks never to return to "that dreadful place", however.

MAUGRE THE MULEMEISTER, innovator of a revolutionary new technique that promises to "free you from the shackles of encumbrance tracking" by introducing trained mules into the dungeon. As yet untested, Maugre is eager to try his theory in the UNDEREARTH. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild to publish his unfinished manuscript "De Arte Asinaria: On the Mastery of the Mule".

REMI THE ROTUND, a former oarsman and MAN-AT-ARMS from far FLAUGAR, an ill-reputed port in the TWELVE KINGDOMS, who had recently quit his past occupation as he found it "hateful beyond all measure". Now seeks employment inland, and prays "never to look upon those BLACK WATERS again". 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 10 gp ransom, 25 gp wergild towards "the bounty on the head of KING HAGGUK".

DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, a Northman MAN-AT-ARMS who took a wrong turn somewhere in the STONECROWS and has lost his warband. Despite this, the easygoing young swordsman seems largely unperturbed by the development, and is eager still for life's adventure. 1 gp/day on adventures, 1 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild for "his SWEET ODELINA".

TURSTON OLAFSON, another Northman—though this one here by choice—Turston is tight-lipped about the particulars of his origins but is eager to prove his CHIVALRY in the JOUSTING FIELD during the upcoming holiday. In the interim, this FIGHTING MAN is willing to join expeditions into STONEHELL for 1/2 share of XP and treasure, hoping to earn himself a proper set of armor before parade day. 25 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild to "an undisclosed inheritor".

SEEKING ADOPTION at the DOGMAN'S YARDE

* BLAWNDYE, a young WAR DOG of the finest alaunt butcher stock, he appears intelligent and eager to please, but possesses a craftiness and nervous energy like to test any master. 25 gp

* MOWNAMY, a seasoned BLOODHOUND once beloved as a fox-hunting dog by RUGGIERO BADARELLI, who has been slowly forced to liquidate many of his assets due to year-after-year losses from the locust-plagued vineyards of his COUNTRY MANOR in the FOREST GORNATE. 25 gp

SERVICES AVAILABLE at the OLDE TOWN DIOCESE

Holy Water: 25 gp, 7 flasks available

Antivenom: 100 gp, allows for an additional save vs poison, 1 flask available

RARE ITEMS at the PENNYPINCHER COLLECTION

Our first item comes from the personal effects of SGT. HENRI D'ARAMITZ, who met his doom in CASTLE XYNTILLIAN, seduced by SYBILLE MALEVOL aka the WIDOWMAKER.
Identified as a PRIME ROD, it is believed to serve as a magical key to the accompanying TREASURE MAP, which may lead to the HYQUEOUS VAULTS, believed to be somewhere in the STONECROWS.
Price: 1400 GP