Session Report #4: TO BRAVE SAMADI'S TOMB!

HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has escaped from STONEHELL DUNGEON once again, enriched from STOLEN LOOT wrested from SAMADI'S TOMB!

Buendar braves the unknown!

BUENDAR THE GREENHORN held high THAT PROUD STANDARD OF LAW, joined by LARRY THE FRIENDLY LURCHER and BROTHER MELCHIOR THE ACOLYTE, with a respectable following behind, including: GAMELLUS THE GIRDED, DARIO THE DOGGED, DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, PON THE PORTER, MILO THE MEASURE, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC, REMI THE ROTUND, and BLAWYNDIE THE BUTCHER—a regular warband, ready to BEARD CHAOS IN ITS LAIR!

 

 The journey into the BENIGHTED HALLS OF STONEHELL went without difficulty, the ALMSMEN absent from the ILLUSIVE WODE and the ELFROAD clear between Stonehell and OLDE TOWYN. Our Heroes cut a straight path to the WHEEL OF FORTUNE, seeking the blessings of THE GREAT GOD CHANCE before plunging once again into the crypts of that 'Saint of Noble Rest', Samadi, from which they had wrested a wedding band during their last venture.

Luck was with our troupe of gallants, at least for the moment, with the Wheel portioning out experience points and extra spells for Larry and Melchior, and all seemed well even as they cleared an infestation of GIGANTIC RATS from their path.

Yet, Samadi's Crypt would prove to hold both WEAL and WOE for our Heroes in equal measure, as treasure and terrible fate lurked within that HATEFUL TOMB!

In that complex of crypts, each door is inscribed with an epitaph that mocked those fallen adventurers entombed within: 

To win her smile he'd bring down the stars 
Yet never a place within her memoirs.
Jewels turn the head, not quicken the heart.

Having won a wedding band from this first crypt, our party passed quickly by, on to...  

He drank to courage, sang to pride—
Then staggered in and loudly died.
The courage was borrowed.

 Wrenching open the door, they discovered a GRINNING GHOUL waiting within, who had just sat for his supper upon the dead drunkard, the tomb festooned with casks, decanters, and bottles of all sorts. After a brief parley, the creature of chaos was allowed to resume his awful feast. Moving on, they came to a crypt which read...

He paid in coin, for a conscience clean.
The plate collapsed. So did the scene.
A soul too heavy for Heaven's scale.

Slayer of Gamellus

 Inside, our Heroes found another of the CANID CANNIBALS, this one in repose after his dinner, sat atop an enormous pile of gold. Negotiations were minimal, and the foul thing fell to the righteous arms of those assembled—but at a steep price, for by the melee's end Gamellus lay dead upon the ground, his throat stuck open and his lifeblood pooling on the floor. Soon thereafter Larry nearly met his end when a false floor collapsed under his weight, revealing that sparkling coins for which the Girded One had spent his life to be naught but the lure of a cruel trap. Grumbling dispiritedly, they pressed forward...

 

 

He charged ahead with fire and flair—
And lit the fuse of his despair.
The bravest fool burns brightest.

 And but briefly paused to read the inscription above before choosing caution over valor, suspecting yet another trap. Next was...

He waited, watched, and dared not tread—
Till hunger claimed him in his dread.
The safest path leads nowhere.

 Another disappointment, the tomb bare save for the desiccated remains of a fallen hero who had starved in this terrible place, penniless and afraid.

He lifted them from gutter’s grime—
They climbed his back to buy more time.
First to help. First to fall.

 A trio of skeletons wrestled within, fighting over the final treasure of their former master, a golden crocodile figurine which would weep when it's owner was about to be eaten. Slaying the ingrates, the party took their treasure and marched on...

He crowned himself in gilded dread,
They say pride went to his head.
Ill-fitting was the office.

 Enthroned inside, a skeleton with a crushed skull wore a golden crown which our Heroes did most nobly pluck from his brow, grateful to the Lord of Light that no vengeful spirit was stirred by their trespass.

He played while all the rest were slain—
Encore! Encore! He died again.
A Bard's fate.

A pack of massive BLACK RATS, each the size of a Rottweiler, were feasting within upon the bard's mangled corpse, a prize which they would not quietly yield. After a brief struggle, the lot lay dead, though Buendar would suffer a nasty bite for his troubles. An engraved bronze armband was found among the remains, depicting a procession of skeletal musicians, led by a saxophonist wearing a jester's cap.

At the terminus of the Hall of Heroes was a stone door engraved with the SMILING SKULL OF SAMADI—also festooned in a fool's cap—which our band decided to brave another day. A wise choice, it soon turned out, for by dusk Buendar's wound pulsated with heat and that brave soul was but barely able to collapse into bed before the fever overtook him. Whether he shall ultimately survive yet remains to be seen...

The Saint of Noble Rest

MAY THE LORD OF LIGHT GUIDE BUENDAR ON HIS WAY—SO SAYETH YE OLDE DUNGEON MASTER! 

Special thanks to our sponsors

 

Session Report #3: To Win at WHEEL OF FORTUNE!

HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has once again emerged from the benighted depths of STONEHELL victorious, returning to OLDE TOWYN with a glittering band of GOLD won from a GROOMSMAN'S HEADLESS CORPSE!

LARRY in the lead

LARRY THE FRIEND led the way, joined as ever by BUENDAR THE GREENHORN alongside that Northlander newcomer and warrior woman HILDA THE HALF-GIANT, who quickly proved her mettle when the SWORDARM OF LAW was set against FOUL CHAOS!

Alongside were the faithful companions PON THE PORTER, MILO THE MEASURE, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC and DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, who were joined by recent converts DARIO THE DOGGED and GAMELLUS THE GIRDED--a doughty band indeed!

However, the loyalty of the former ALMSMEN was soon tested when Larry, scouting the ILLUSIVE WOOD,  discovered four ROUGH MEN waiting within. When an ACCURSED GROUNDHOG gave him away, our Friendly Lurcher found himself CAUGHT DEAD TO RIGHTS!

Hail to Hilda!

Thankfully, Buendar and Gamellus soon moved in to intercede and, after some TENSE NEGOTIATIONS, it was decided that all would be better off if our Heroes were allowed to pass unnoticed, with an offer of future employment extended to the brigands should they choose to give up their CHAOTIC WAYS. 

Once inside STONEHELL proper, the TRUE TESTING began:


Firstly, it was the WHEEL OF FORTUNE, dedicated to the GREAT GOD CHANCE, a shrine which provides WEAL and WOE in equal measure—as Hilda and Buendar would soon discover, with Hilda earning GLORIOUS XP and Buendar an AWFUL CURSE of CRUEL FATE!

Sadly, Pat and Vanna do not appear

The FOUNT OF THE LAUGHING BASS was next, hydrated by our Heroes to produce a foully poisonous sludge—which they were quick to keep, anticipating opportunities for EVIL DEEDS ahead. 

Onward they pushed, with Larry in the lead, daring not the DRAGON'S CAVE—whose occupant the friendly lurcher DEFTLY DODGED—instead leaving behind a TASTY TRIBUTE for the giant gecko.

And finally, after many tribulations, our Heroes reached SAMADI'S TOMB!

Behold the Hall where Heroes sleep,  
Their names enshrined, their glories deep.  
The bold, the bright, the battle-scarred—  
All honored here by Death’s regard.

Within these crypts, the mighty rest,  
Each soul once tried, each fate confessed.  
Their deeds were sung, their courage praised—  
Their final acts forever raised.

And he who reigns o’er jest and gloom,  
Who grins beneath the veil of doom—  
Samadi, Saint of noble rest,  
Receives them in eternal jest.

So enter ye with heads held high,  
And steel your soul ‘neath watchful eye.  
For laughter waits where valor fell—  
And echoes loud in crypt and knell.

The above inscription was carved into the double-doors of that strange crypt, whose mocking verse hinted at the cruel dooms that claimed those within. 

The first read thusly:

To win her smile he'd bring down the stars
Yet never a place within her memoirs.

Jewels turn the head, not quicken the heart.

Just tryna get sum brain

Despite sounds of a TERRIBLE TWAINING within, our stalwarts GIRDED THEMSELVES for battle, suspecting that GLITTERING JEWELS must surely be BEHIND DOOR #1!

The scene was a STRANGE TABLEAU--a corpse dressed as a groom at an altar with no bride--that was being AWFULLY SAVAGED by an UNHOLY BEAST: part MAN, part WOLF, and entirely UNDEAD!

In its TERRIBLE JAWS was the BLOODY BRAINS of the HEADLESS GROOM and, having been disturbed from its UNGODLY ANTHROPOPHAGY, it leapt upon Hilda with a HATEFUL FURY! 

ALACK, some SINISTER PARALYTIC must've been set into the Beast's talons, as Hilda STIFFENED from a SIMPLE SCRATCH, but with STEELY SWORDS the UNHOLY THING was SOON DISPATCHED!

With their half-giant hamstrung, the Heroes snatched the wedding band from the brainless bridesman to make quick their escape from the UNDEREARTH. Thankfully, it was not long into the trek back to OLDE TOWYN that Hilda recovered her strength and, by the following day, Buendar's ill fortune had passed--a rousing success on all fronts!

PRAISE BE to the LORD OF LAW and may THAT PROUD STANDARD never falter!

 

Special thanks to our sponsor

 

STONEHELL BROADSHEET #7

NEWS ABOUT OLDE TOWYN

HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES returned to OLDE TOWYN with two freshly-baptized LAWFUL RECRUITS, turned from a CHAOTIC LIFE as ROUGH MEN into SWORD SOLDIERS of the LORD OF LIGHT!

 

GAMELLUS THE GIRDED, leader of the ALMSMEN scouts of the ILLUSIVE WOOD and REGULAR HARDASS. Disciplined, active, quick to take command—though self-righteous for a BRIGAND. Clearly holds a GRUDGE against ANGUS THE ANALYTIC for betraying their former compatriots, and steadfastly refuses to participate on any planned attack on the Almsmen. 'They were my MEN—nay, my BROTHERS—and while I will not stop you, my conscience cannot allow me to participate in their SLAUGHTER. May the LORD have mercy on their SOULS.' 2 gp/day on adventures, 4 sp/day while in town. Requires 20 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild for 'the families of the Almsmen who have died'.

 

 

DARIO THE DOGGED, an old PIRATE turned scout for the ALMSMEN alongside ZORREL and SONYA GNAST when their ship was ran aground by the SHARKMEN SAVAGES that haunt the SEA OF SWORDS. A grizzled seadog given to drunken brooding and passionate outbursts, his flamboyance coming through in his fighting style, in which he puts on quite the show. 2 gp/day on adventures, 4 sp/day while in town. Requires 20 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild for 'the GREAT GOD CHANCE, the only god I know—spend it in the legendary STONEHELL CASINO, his grand temple in the UNDEREARTH, and may he repay you a HUNDREDFOLD!'

 

  

AT  THE TWO-HEADED CALF

 

 

TEDESCO THE UNTESTED, former apprentice to ALBIO THE ENCHANTER, recently graduated from THE WIZARD'S TOWER of MUR. Has come to Olde Towyn at the urgings of his grandfather 'PAPA' PICO PIZANI, to make a name for himself in STONEHELL 'or at least save us all some embarassment'. Bumbling, eager, wet behind the ears. This MAGIC-USER is willing to serve as a HENCHMAN for 1/2 share of XP and treasure. 25 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild to Papa Pico.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHILDEBERT THE CHARITABLE, an ACOLYTE of the LORD OF LIGHT who of late has served as a staff member at ST DURHAM'S HOME FOR WAYWARD YOUTHS. Childebert, who appears aged beyond his twenty-five years, mumbles feebly that he is 'eager for change' and 'just wants to do some good for once'. This CLERIC is willing to serve as a HENCHMAN for 1/2 share of XP and treasure, but will REQUIRE EQUIPMENT, possessing only a whip and billy club. 25 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild to GREYSTONE CHAPEL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

COURTEOUS CARLO, recently returned from a failed stint as VALET for PINO BABULO of MUR. Carlo was let go when determined impolitic to retain due to longstanding grudge against CHIRICO CAPULLO, son of that most puissant patriarch BEPPO CAPULLO. A former squire, Carlo was hobbled by Chirico's warhorse, and now is an aging dandy who works as a valet and bodyman. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "for his beloved lapdog, LUSTE".

SAER THE SCAMP, loves sweets, mischief, and merrymaking. Sadly, his father, JOBBA THE LOGGER, disappeared not long after spotting strange FETCH-LIGHTS near the ruins of an OLD TOWER in the FOREST GORNATE. Now must make his own way in the world as a LINKBOY. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "to pay for a proper funeral for me and Papa". 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAUGRE THE MULEMEISTER, innovator of a revolutionary new technique that promises to "free you from the shackles of encumbrance tracking" by introducing trained mules into the dungeon. As yet untested, Maugre is eager to try his theory in the UNDEREARTH. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild to publish his unfinished manuscript "De Arte Asinaria: On the Mastery of the Mule".
 

 

 

SERVICES AVAILABLE at the OLDE TOWN DIOCESE

 

• Holy Water: 25 gp, 5 flasks available

• Antivenom: 100 gp, allows for an additional save vs poison, 3 flasks available

 

RARE ITEMS at the PENNYPINCHER COLLECTION 

 

 

Our first item comes from the personal effects of SGT. HENRI D'ARAMITZ, who met his doom in CASTLE XYNTILLIAN, seduced by SYBILLE MALEVOL aka the WIDOWMAKER.

 

Identified as a PRIME ROD, it is believed to serve as a magical key to the accompanying TREASURE MAP, which may lead to the HYQUEOUS VAULTS, believed to be somewhere in the STONECROWS.

 

Price: 1400 GP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emerald Ring, 1300 GP

 

 

 

 

 

 Electrum Circlet, 600 GP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gilded Bracers, 2200 GP

 

 

 

Chill Parasol, 5000 GP