Session Report #5: SCINTILLATING SPOILS!

Valued at 5,000 GP

HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has once again emerged TRIUMPHANT from the dismal depths of STONEHELL DUNGEON, having recovered the mysterious RING OF THE SCINTILLATING ORB from the LOST LAIR outside the dungeon proper and traded it to the PENNYPINCHERS for a FORTUNE IN GOLD!

Our adventure began at the bedside of BUENDAR THE GREENHORN, who--despite the raucous festival raging outside across OLDE TOWYN--lay pallid and still, a DEATHLY MIASMA filling the air of his room in the TWO-HEADED CALF, as our hero had been laid low by a festering wound--the parting gift of a diseased BLACK RAT of the UNDEREARTH that Buendar had recently slain. 

Bishop Ordane senses a sizeable donation

Only by the merciful ministrations of MELCHIOR THE ACOLYTE was the POISONED BLOOD kept
from our Greenhorn's heart until BISHOP ALFRIC ORDANE could be summoned to pray over the poor wretch. Happily, induced by a sizeable donation to the LAWFUL CHURCH, the LORD OF LIGHT interceded on Buendar's behalf, and he was miraculously restored to health! 

PRAISE HIM!

Bevin of Balazar

Impoverished by the indulgence, Melchior and Buendar set out for Stonehell, joined by newcomer BEVIN OF BALAZAR, a plains barbarian from the ELDER WILDS beyond DRAGON PASS to the North. They were joined alongside by their loyal followers DARIO THE DOGGED, DEGORE THE DISORIENTED,  REMI THE ROTUND, and that good dog BLAWYNDIE THE BUTCHER. It was an ill-augured morning that they set off, too beggared even to afford a funeral for GAMELLUS THE GIRDED, who was most foully slain three weeks prior, his body crudely covered by stones at the edge of the RIVER SHRILL.

 

With the intermediary between the ALMSMEN and our gallants laying in that shallow grave, the party carefully avoided the ILLUSIVE WOOD, skirting the canyon's northern edge to avoid being sighted. In so doing, our heroes discovered a LOST LAIR in a worked cave near the WATERFALL OF WARMTH, which had been previously occluded by a stand of pines. 

Though largely looted, save for some stray vermin that were dispatched by the unerring BULLETS OF BEVIN, the Lost Lair proved a worthy distraction when Melchior discovered a secret panel in the leg of an enormous stone table, revealing HIDDEN RICHES within--a satchel of gold, a potion of extra-healing, and the Ring of the Scintillating Orb.

 

Emboldened by their discovery, the Company ventured into the dungeon proper, where they were soon met by a KOBOLD WORK KREW who were merrily whistling their way to their next work order when the party arrived.

A parley ended peacefully, with Bevin's promises of bribes to come mollifying those stunted dwarfs for the time being, but the GREAT GOD CHANCE played the barbarian false when he tried his hand at the WHEEL OF FORTUNE, rendering him COMPLETELY PARALYZED!

Fashioning an improvised litter, our Company hastily retreated--only to find a TERRIBLE TAX BILL had come due!

Firstly, it was the Kobolds, who demanded a toll for their time, which our Heroes grudgingly paid, and once the surface was won the Almsmen wanted their share too--but, for Buendar, that was ONE TAX TOO MANY!

The furious fighting man led a fearsome charge against their foemen and, despite the flurry of arrows that met them, those proud scions of civilization drove the striking rabble back to their lair with their tails between their legs—the curs taking flight once their leader was slain, swearing vengeance over their shoulders as they ran, the party's jeers carrying them on their way.

After a long day's journey back to Olde Towyn the Heroic Companions visited the Pennypinchers, seeking to have their treasures identified. It was to their great delight that our brave band learned the bank would pay a terrific price for the ring, whose enchantment proved too powerful to be easily identified but was believed to function as some sort of teleporter. 

Though intrigued by its inherent mystery, the proffered price could not be resisted—so our gallants traded the magic ring to the Dwarfs, walking away with a fortune far beyond any they had previously known!

Level 2, Fuck Yeah!

PRAISE BE TO THE LORD OF LAW!

Special thanks to our sponsors

Session Report #4: TO BRAVE SAMADI'S TOMB!

HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has escaped from STONEHELL DUNGEON once again, enriched from STOLEN LOOT wrested from SAMADI'S TOMB!

Buendar braves the unknown!

BUENDAR THE GREENHORN held high THAT PROUD STANDARD OF LAW, joined by LARRY THE FRIENDLY LURCHER and BROTHER MELCHIOR THE ACOLYTE, with a respectable following behind, including: GAMELLUS THE GIRDED, DARIO THE DOGGED, DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, PON THE PORTER, MILO THE MEASURE, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC, REMI THE ROTUND, and BLAWYNDIE THE BUTCHER—a regular warband, ready to BEARD CHAOS IN ITS LAIR!

 

 The journey into the BENIGHTED HALLS OF STONEHELL went without difficulty, the ALMSMEN absent from the ILLUSIVE WODE and the ELFROAD clear between Stonehell and OLDE TOWYN. Our Heroes cut a straight path to the WHEEL OF FORTUNE, seeking the blessings of THE GREAT GOD CHANCE before plunging once again into the crypts of that 'Saint of Noble Rest', Samadi, from which they had wrested a wedding band during their last venture.

Luck was with our troupe of gallants, at least for the moment, with the Wheel portioning out experience points and extra spells for Larry and Melchior, and all seemed well even as they cleared an infestation of GIGANTIC RATS from their path.

Yet, Samadi's Crypt would prove to hold both WEAL and WOE for our Heroes in equal measure, as treasure and terrible fate lurked within that HATEFUL TOMB!

In that complex of crypts, each door is inscribed with an epitaph that mocked those fallen adventurers entombed within: 

To win her smile he'd bring down the stars 
Yet never a place within her memoirs.
Jewels turn the head, not quicken the heart.

Having won a wedding band from this first crypt, our party passed quickly by, on to...  

He drank to courage, sang to pride—
Then staggered in and loudly died.
The courage was borrowed.

 Wrenching open the door, they discovered a GRINNING GHOUL waiting within, who had just sat for his supper upon the dead drunkard, the tomb festooned with casks, decanters, and bottles of all sorts. After a brief parley, the creature of chaos was allowed to resume his awful feast. Moving on, they came to a crypt which read...

He paid in coin, for a conscience clean.
The plate collapsed. So did the scene.
A soul too heavy for Heaven's scale.

Slayer of Gamellus

 Inside, our Heroes found another of the CANID CANNIBALS, this one in repose after his dinner, sat atop an enormous pile of gold. Negotiations were minimal, and the foul thing fell to the righteous arms of those assembled—but at a steep price, for by the melee's end Gamellus lay dead upon the ground, his throat stuck open and his lifeblood pooling on the floor. Soon thereafter Larry nearly met his end when a false floor collapsed under his weight, revealing that sparkling coins for which the Girded One had spent his life to be naught but the lure of a cruel trap. Grumbling dispiritedly, they pressed forward...

 

 

He charged ahead with fire and flair—
And lit the fuse of his despair.
The bravest fool burns brightest.

 And but briefly paused to read the inscription above before choosing caution over valor, suspecting yet another trap. Next was...

He waited, watched, and dared not tread—
Till hunger claimed him in his dread.
The safest path leads nowhere.

 Another disappointment, the tomb bare save for the desiccated remains of a fallen hero who had starved in this terrible place, penniless and afraid.

He lifted them from gutter’s grime—
They climbed his back to buy more time.
First to help. First to fall.

 A trio of skeletons wrestled within, fighting over the final treasure of their former master, a golden crocodile figurine which would weep when it's owner was about to be eaten. Slaying the ingrates, the party took their treasure and marched on...

He crowned himself in gilded dread,
They say pride went to his head.
Ill-fitting was the office.

 Enthroned inside, a skeleton with a crushed skull wore a golden crown which our Heroes did most nobly pluck from his brow, grateful to the Lord of Light that no vengeful spirit was stirred by their trespass.

He played while all the rest were slain—
Encore! Encore! He died again.
A Bard's fate.

A pack of massive BLACK RATS, each the size of a Rottweiler, were feasting within upon the bard's mangled corpse, a prize which they would not quietly yield. After a brief struggle, the lot lay dead, though Buendar would suffer a nasty bite for his troubles. An engraved bronze armband was found among the remains, depicting a procession of skeletal musicians, led by a saxophonist wearing a jester's cap.

At the terminus of the Hall of Heroes was a stone door engraved with the SMILING SKULL OF SAMADI—also festooned in a fool's cap—which our band decided to brave another day. A wise choice, it soon turned out, for by dusk Buendar's wound pulsated with heat and that brave soul was but barely able to collapse into bed before the fever overtook him. Whether he shall ultimately survive yet remains to be seen...

The Saint of Noble Rest

MAY THE LORD OF LIGHT GUIDE BUENDAR ON HIS WAY—SO SAYETH YE OLDE DUNGEON MASTER! 

Special thanks to our sponsors

 

Session Report #3: To Win at WHEEL OF FORTUNE!

HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES has once again emerged from the benighted depths of STONEHELL victorious, returning to OLDE TOWYN with a glittering band of GOLD won from a GROOMSMAN'S HEADLESS CORPSE!

LARRY in the lead

LARRY THE FRIEND led the way, joined as ever by BUENDAR THE GREENHORN alongside that Northlander newcomer and warrior woman HILDA THE HALF-GIANT, who quickly proved her mettle when the SWORDARM OF LAW was set against FOUL CHAOS!

Alongside were the faithful companions PON THE PORTER, MILO THE MEASURE, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC and DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, who were joined by recent converts DARIO THE DOGGED and GAMELLUS THE GIRDED--a doughty band indeed!

However, the loyalty of the former ALMSMEN was soon tested when Larry, scouting the ILLUSIVE WOOD,  discovered four ROUGH MEN waiting within. When an ACCURSED GROUNDHOG gave him away, our Friendly Lurcher found himself CAUGHT DEAD TO RIGHTS!

Hail to Hilda!

Thankfully, Buendar and Gamellus soon moved in to intercede and, after some TENSE NEGOTIATIONS, it was decided that all would be better off if our Heroes were allowed to pass unnoticed, with an offer of future employment extended to the brigands should they choose to give up their CHAOTIC WAYS. 

Once inside STONEHELL proper, the TRUE TESTING began:


Firstly, it was the WHEEL OF FORTUNE, dedicated to the GREAT GOD CHANCE, a shrine which provides WEAL and WOE in equal measure—as Hilda and Buendar would soon discover, with Hilda earning GLORIOUS XP and Buendar an AWFUL CURSE of CRUEL FATE!

Sadly, Pat and Vanna do not appear

The FOUNT OF THE LAUGHING BASS was next, hydrated by our Heroes to produce a foully poisonous sludge—which they were quick to keep, anticipating opportunities for EVIL DEEDS ahead. 

Onward they pushed, with Larry in the lead, daring not the DRAGON'S CAVE—whose occupant the friendly lurcher DEFTLY DODGED—instead leaving behind a TASTY TRIBUTE for the giant gecko.

And finally, after many tribulations, our Heroes reached SAMADI'S TOMB!

Behold the Hall where Heroes sleep,  
Their names enshrined, their glories deep.  
The bold, the bright, the battle-scarred—  
All honored here by Death’s regard.

Within these crypts, the mighty rest,  
Each soul once tried, each fate confessed.  
Their deeds were sung, their courage praised—  
Their final acts forever raised.

And he who reigns o’er jest and gloom,  
Who grins beneath the veil of doom—  
Samadi, Saint of noble rest,  
Receives them in eternal jest.

So enter ye with heads held high,  
And steel your soul ‘neath watchful eye.  
For laughter waits where valor fell—  
And echoes loud in crypt and knell.

The above inscription was carved into the double-doors of that strange crypt, whose mocking verse hinted at the cruel dooms that claimed those within. 

The first read thusly:

To win her smile he'd bring down the stars
Yet never a place within her memoirs.

Jewels turn the head, not quicken the heart.

Just tryna get sum brain

Despite sounds of a TERRIBLE TWAINING within, our stalwarts GIRDED THEMSELVES for battle, suspecting that GLITTERING JEWELS must surely be BEHIND DOOR #1!

The scene was a STRANGE TABLEAU--a corpse dressed as a groom at an altar with no bride--that was being AWFULLY SAVAGED by an UNHOLY BEAST: part MAN, part WOLF, and entirely UNDEAD!

In its TERRIBLE JAWS was the BLOODY BRAINS of the HEADLESS GROOM and, having been disturbed from its UNGODLY ANTHROPOPHAGY, it leapt upon Hilda with a HATEFUL FURY! 

ALACK, some SINISTER PARALYTIC must've been set into the Beast's talons, as Hilda STIFFENED from a SIMPLE SCRATCH, but with STEELY SWORDS the UNHOLY THING was SOON DISPATCHED!

With their half-giant hamstrung, the Heroes snatched the wedding band from the brainless bridesman to make quick their escape from the UNDEREARTH. Thankfully, it was not long into the trek back to OLDE TOWYN that Hilda recovered her strength and, by the following day, Buendar's ill fortune had passed--a rousing success on all fronts!

PRAISE BE to the LORD OF LAW and may THAT PROUD STANDARD never falter!

 

Special thanks to our sponsor

 

STONEHELL BROADSHEET #7

NEWS ABOUT OLDE TOWYN

HUZZAH! The COMPANY OF HEROES returned to OLDE TOWYN with two freshly-baptized LAWFUL RECRUITS, turned from a CHAOTIC LIFE as ROUGH MEN into SWORD SOLDIERS of the LORD OF LIGHT!

 

GAMELLUS THE GIRDED, leader of the ALMSMEN scouts of the ILLUSIVE WOOD and REGULAR HARDASS. Disciplined, active, quick to take command—though self-righteous for a BRIGAND. Clearly holds a GRUDGE against ANGUS THE ANALYTIC for betraying their former compatriots, and steadfastly refuses to participate on any planned attack on the Almsmen. 'They were my MEN—nay, my BROTHERS—and while I will not stop you, my conscience cannot allow me to participate in their SLAUGHTER. May the LORD have mercy on their SOULS.' 2 gp/day on adventures, 4 sp/day while in town. Requires 20 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild for 'the families of the Almsmen who have died'.

 

 

DARIO THE DOGGED, an old PIRATE turned scout for the ALMSMEN alongside ZORREL and SONYA GNAST when their ship was ran aground by the SHARKMEN SAVAGES that haunt the SEA OF SWORDS. A grizzled seadog given to drunken brooding and passionate outbursts, his flamboyance coming through in his fighting style, in which he puts on quite the show. 2 gp/day on adventures, 4 sp/day while in town. Requires 20 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild for 'the GREAT GOD CHANCE, the only god I know—spend it in the legendary STONEHELL CASINO, his grand temple in the UNDEREARTH, and may he repay you a HUNDREDFOLD!'

 

  

AT  THE TWO-HEADED CALF

 

 

TEDESCO THE UNTESTED, former apprentice to ALBIO THE ENCHANTER, recently graduated from THE WIZARD'S TOWER of MUR. Has come to Olde Towyn at the urgings of his grandfather 'PAPA' PICO PIZANI, to make a name for himself in STONEHELL 'or at least save us all some embarassment'. Bumbling, eager, wet behind the ears. This MAGIC-USER is willing to serve as a HENCHMAN for 1/2 share of XP and treasure. 25 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild to Papa Pico.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHILDEBERT THE CHARITABLE, an ACOLYTE of the LORD OF LIGHT who of late has served as a staff member at ST DURHAM'S HOME FOR WAYWARD YOUTHS. Childebert, who appears aged beyond his twenty-five years, mumbles feebly that he is 'eager for change' and 'just wants to do some good for once'. This CLERIC is willing to serve as a HENCHMAN for 1/2 share of XP and treasure, but will REQUIRE EQUIPMENT, possessing only a whip and billy club. 25 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild to GREYSTONE CHAPEL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

COURTEOUS CARLO, recently returned from a failed stint as VALET for PINO BABULO of MUR. Carlo was let go when determined impolitic to retain due to longstanding grudge against CHIRICO CAPULLO, son of that most puissant patriarch BEPPO CAPULLO. A former squire, Carlo was hobbled by Chirico's warhorse, and now is an aging dandy who works as a valet and bodyman. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "for his beloved lapdog, LUSTE".

SAER THE SCAMP, loves sweets, mischief, and merrymaking. Sadly, his father, JOBBA THE LOGGER, disappeared not long after spotting strange FETCH-LIGHTS near the ruins of an OLD TOWER in the FOREST GORNATE. Now must make his own way in the world as a LINKBOY. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "to pay for a proper funeral for me and Papa". 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAUGRE THE MULEMEISTER, innovator of a revolutionary new technique that promises to "free you from the shackles of encumbrance tracking" by introducing trained mules into the dungeon. As yet untested, Maugre is eager to try his theory in the UNDEREARTH. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild to publish his unfinished manuscript "De Arte Asinaria: On the Mastery of the Mule".
 

 

 

SERVICES AVAILABLE at the OLDE TOWN DIOCESE

 

• Holy Water: 25 gp, 5 flasks available

• Antivenom: 100 gp, allows for an additional save vs poison, 3 flasks available

 

RARE ITEMS at the PENNYPINCHER COLLECTION 

 

 

Our first item comes from the personal effects of SGT. HENRI D'ARAMITZ, who met his doom in CASTLE XYNTILLIAN, seduced by SYBILLE MALEVOL aka the WIDOWMAKER.

 

Identified as a PRIME ROD, it is believed to serve as a magical key to the accompanying TREASURE MAP, which may lead to the HYQUEOUS VAULTS, believed to be somewhere in the STONECROWS.

 

Price: 1400 GP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emerald Ring, 1300 GP

 

 

 

 

 

 Electrum Circlet, 600 GP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gilded Bracers, 2200 GP

 

 

 

Chill Parasol, 5000 GP

Session Report #2: SWORDS AGAINST THE SIN TAX!

HUZZAH! Once again, the COMPANY OF HEROES has returned from STONEHELL victorious against FIENDISH FOEMEN!

Firstly, BUENDAR would not allow a challenge to go unheeded, so sought SATISFACTION at the DUELLIST'S DOLMEN.

CLEMENT-1, BUENDAR-0

SADLY, our Fighting-Man soon discovered—much to his chagrin—that CLEMENT THE CALLOUS was no mere pup to be easily bested, but a HARD MAN indeed, leaving our greenhorn reeling and forced to undergo a painful PUBLIC APOLOGY.

SWEET VENGEANCE, it seems, will have to be sought on the JOUSTING FIELD come OCTOBER!

Too dumb to be distressed  

Despite this setback, the Company rallied valiantly, taking on several new recruits: DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, REMI THE ROTUND, the time-lost MILO THE MEASURE, and BLAWYNDIE THE DOG, even as they buried GUILLAUME and TRAYVON outside GREYSTONE CHAPEL. May the FALLEN rest in peace!

Before setting out for STONEHELL, the band joined a BLOOD-PACT with ANGUS THE ANALYTIC to exterminate those CHAOTIC CANNIBALS who slew his sword-brother. In gratitude, the cold-blooded mercenary provided a map to the BANDIT CAVES of the ALMSMEN—his former compatriots—along with a rough description of their numbers and routine.

Ill-fit for a longship

A matter, it turned out, to be of immediate interest when LARRY THE FRIEND spied upon the Almsmen's forward camp in the ILLUSIVE WOOD. Inside, he found nearly a half-dozen ROUGH MEN lying in wait, eager to relieve the party of any TREASURES won from the UNDEREARTH.

Affronted by the LAWLESS TAXATION planned by the BRIGANDS, the Heroes set a snare of their own, drawing the thieves into a WEB OF THEIR OWN DECEIT!

Hie me back to 1974

Soon, planning and coordination would easily win the day for our Heroes, who suffered NARY A SCRATCH for their efforts while the brigands would be forced to lay down their arms after three of their number were quickly dispatched. The pair of survivors were captured, BAPTISED in the RIVER SHRILL and SAVED by the LORD OF LAW, to serve HIM against the CAUSE OF CHAOS!

PRAISE BE!

STONEHELL BROADSHEET #6

 * ALACK! Once again, TORVALD'S TEN has faced STONEHELL and was bested by the DUNGEON ETERNAL.

The FORTRESS OF EXACTITUDE
now seems further away than ever...

* Continuing their exploration of the southern canyon wall, the gallants discovered an entrance into the SHRINE OF OSTROGG previously uncovered by the COMPANY OF HEROES.

* Yet, upon their descent into the WELL OF SACRIFICE they were quickly beset by all manner of INVERTEBRATE HORRORS, and a pair of 3' long BLACK BEETLES attached themselves to AMBROSE THE AGED ACOLYTE and the bounty-killer known as DONAL OF DOUGHKEEP.

AMBROSE THE ACOLYTE
Love's Fool

* Unwilling to let go of their prey no matter the abuses heaped upon them, the so-called DEATH-GRIP BEETLES nearly lived up to their names, leaving Ambrose HOVERING AT DEATH'S DOOR and Donal AWFULLY INJURED before they were forced to quit the field.

* Only by the LIGHT OF LAW was the woodwose-turned-holy man kept from his HEAVENLY FLIGHT--along with the tearful ministrations of CORDELIA THE CHASTE--while the Bowman from Doughkeep had to be carried from the field by GIG THE USELESS and VALAN THE VALIANT.

* AND SO, a dispirited troupe arrived back at OLDE TOWYN, led by a muck-stained and foul-looking TORVALD, the lot looking leaner and poorer yet after a pair of unsuccessful expeditions.

* ALARM! As KNIGHTS of all stripes start slowly filtering into OLDE TOWYN to add their names to the JOUSTING TOURNAMENT LIST, an event set to serve as a capstone to the FALCONI FEAST on the HY HOLIDAY of October, BUENDAR THE GREENHORN has discovered that, alas, not all who call themselves such are, in fact, TRUE KNIGHTS.

CLEMENT THE CALLOUS, false knight

* Whilst CAROUSING HIMSELF COCK-EYED at the TWO-HEADED CALF, Buendar was beset upon by CLEMENT THE CALLOUS, a robber knight reputed to be a HARD MAN. Hailing from ERILLION, 'Sir' Clement came to the MAIN-LAND to stalk the FOREST GORNATE in recent years in an (as-yet) fruitless search for a LORD to which he could swear fealty.

* The half-drunk Clement appeared to have enough WIT about him that he knew much about Buendar after they 'accidentally' collided en route to the OUTHOUSE, insulting in turn our heroic greenhorn's lineage, vintage, and recent acts of derring-do within STONEHELL.

* Unwilling to be reconciled, Sir Clement DEMANDS SATISFACTION and will only be sated with a PROPER JOUST—or, failing that, a SWORD-DUEL until the LESSER MAN YIELDS 'if too beggared to keep a horse'.

DONAL, bounty-killer
with a bone to pick

* DONAL OF DOUGHKEEP, having heard the news from his sickbed, calls Buendar to his suite, warning our hero that Clement is a known ruffian, and this is undoubtedly an attempt to build a name for himself prior to the joust proper. By targeting the weakest fighting man of some local repute and giving him a thorough trouncing, Clement assuredly 'seeks to discourage others from signing up for the List and give himself an unfair advantage.'

* Regrettably, although Donal would be happy to serve in Buendar's stead—"I've long waited for his bounty to be posted by the WARDEN RANGERS,"—his recent injuries prevent him from doing so. "I cannot rightly advise you, for in these matters a MAN must speak to his COURAGE ALONE," Donal insists, "But should you choose to face him in the DUELLIST'S DOLMEN atop MADDOC POINTE, I would act as your second, should need be." 

* MERCIFULLY SIMPLE DUELLING RULES by C. KUTALIK.

* HMM. Midweek, ANGUS THE ANALYTIC approaches his employer, LARRY THE FRIENDLY LURCHER, his voice calmly detached even as his cheek are hotly stained by tears for his BELOVED BROTHER-IN-ARMS. 

*

ANGUS THE ANALYTIC
Never forgives, drinks to forget

"I have determined that our company will require immediate successes to restore morale—a matter of some concern, as I am in need of STOUT MEN to see those unholy degenerates SLAIN TO THE LAST. Guillaume would do no less in my stead. As such, I have determined the best means to ensure our next victory."

* He pauses, face bland but dark eyes burning with a FEVERISH INTENSITY, and he studies Larry's face carefully as he continues:

* "If I had said previously that we know nothing of the ALMSMEN, that would have been a lie. We were fellow men-at-arms at one time, and remained on friendly terms, having parted but recently.  Should your band enter into a BLOOD-PACT to RID THE EARTH of those CHAOS KILLERS who slew my sword-brother, I would be like to recall details of our former comrades hideout in gratitude. Such a fortuitous development would certainly help fund further expeditions and provide you with much-needed experience to face the challenges the await within STONEHELL. What say ye?"

* HUZZAH! OLAGOXIA THE ONE-HANDED, the recently-dismembered witch-aspirant of the COMPANY OF HEROES, is invited by ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE DARK to join the SIDEREAL SISTERHOOD in their observation of the PLANETARY PARADE as VENUS, JUPITER, SATURN, MERCURY, URANUS, and NEPTUNE march across the HEAVENS this night.

* The SKYCLAD CELEBRANTS honor the triple-goddess CHTHONIA TRIMORPHIA thusly:

Granny Gorgo

OLAGOXIA (as MAIDEN MORMO): Saturn and Mercury, the FLOWER MOON bids thee fair tidings!

ELVIRA (as the THOUSAND-FACED MOON): Jupiter and Venus, the BLOOD MOON bids thee fair passage! BERNADETH (as GRANNY GORGO): Neptune and Uranus, the WOLF MOON bids thee fare well!

Maiden Mormo

 

MAIDEN MORMO: REASON AND RESPONSIBILITY!

GRANNY GORGO: INNOVATION AND INTUITION!

THOUSAND-FACED MOON: LUCK AND LOVE!

<IN UNISON> GORGO! MORMO! THOUSAND-FACED MOON! HEAR OUR PLEA!

Thousand-Faced Moon

* Et cetera, so forth, and ever-onward until the HATEFUL SUN chased them home.

* Much is discussed among the WITCHES' COVEN under starlight, from the TRUE NATURE OF THE NIGHT to MOONDIALS and FALSE PROPHETS before moving onto more obscure topics, such as the LOST LIBRARY of MOGDA BUNN and even, it is said, rumors of a FORGOTTEN TEMPLE TO CHTHONIA TRIMORPHIA within STONEHELL itself, wherein the last MAIDENS OF MORMO—WHITE WITCHES ALL—were imprisoned decades past.

* Alas, it is not wise to spy overlong on a witch's doings, and as fair-haired Olagoxia has sadly CHOSEN A LIFE MORE MUNDANE after her recent UNHANDING, their business is no longer our own—though many a HAND-CRAFTED HOOK has been left to ROT ON THE LINE by the vagaries of CHANCE! SO MOTE IT BE!

at the TWO-HEADED CALF

COURTEOUS CARLO, recently returned from a failed stint as VALET for PINO BABULO of MUR. Carlo was let go when determined impolitic to retain due to longstanding grudge against CHIRICO CAPULLO, son of that most puissant patriarch BEPPO CAPULLO. A former squire, Carlo was hobbled by Chirico's warhorse, and now is an aging dandy who works as a valet and bodyman. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "for his beloved lapdog, LUSTE".

MILO THE MEASURE, scribe and former apprentice to SHALFEY THE SAGE, Keeper of Wisdom at the TOWER OF THE HEAVENS, who Milo describes as a "real drag" and "harshing his vibe". Offers his services as a MAPPER, volunteering that he "knows this D&D shit" and believes adventure to be his "best chance to get off of this dump". 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild, stipulating that it should pay for a "radical Viking sendoff".

SAER THE SCAMP, loves sweets, mischief, and merrymaking. Sadly, his father, JOBBA THE LOGGER, disappeared not long after spotting strange FETCH-LIGHTS near the ruins of an OLD TOWER in the FOREST GORNATE. Now must make his own way in the world as a LINKBOY. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "to pay for a proper funeral for me and Papa". 

 

 

 

OSBERT THE BRIGHT, said to be late of CAERMOR, a remote highland village known for its dour and hateful folk whose offish reticence has earned them little favor with the people of Olde Towyn. Unlike the common Caermorian, however, Osbert is quick-witted, loquacious, and adventurous—perhaps too much so, for a mere LINKBOY. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild "towards founding a proper LAWFUL CHURCH in me old home". Seeks never to return to "that dreadful place", however.

 

MAUGRE THE MULEMEISTER, innovator of a revolutionary new technique that promises to "free you from the shackles of encumbrance tracking" by introducing trained mules into the dungeon. As yet untested, Maugre is eager to try his theory in the UNDEREARTH. 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild to publish his unfinished manuscript "De Arte Asinaria: On the Mastery of the Mule".

 

REMI THE ROTUND, a former oarsman and MAN-AT-ARMS from far FLAUGAR, an ill-reputed port in the TWELVE KINGDOMS, who had recently quit his past occupation as he found it "hateful beyond all measure". Now seeks employment inland, and prays "never to look upon those BLACK WATERS again". 1 gp/day on adventures, 2 sp/day while in town. Requires 10 gp ransom, 25 gp wergild towards "the bounty on the head of KING HAGGUK".
 

 

 

DEGORE THE DISORIENTED, a Northman MAN-AT-ARMS who took a wrong turn somewhere in the STONECROWS and has lost his warband. Despite this, the easygoing young swordsman seems largely unperturbed by the development, and is eager still for life's adventure. 1 gp/day on adventures, 1 sp/day while in town. Requires 5 gp ransom, 10 gp wergild for "his SWEET ODELINA".
 

 

 

 

TURSTON OLAFSON, another Northman—though this one here by choice—Turston is tight-lipped about the particulars of his origins but is eager to prove his CHIVALRY in the JOUSTING FIELD during the upcoming holiday. In the interim, this FIGHTING MAN is willing to join expeditions into STONEHELL for 1/2 share of XP and treasure, hoping to earn himself a proper set of armor before parade day. 25 gp ransom, 50 gp wergild to "an undisclosed inheritor".
 

SEEKING ADOPTION at the DOGMAN'S YARDE

 

* BLAWNDYE, a young WAR DOG of the finest alaunt butcher stock, he appears intelligent and eager to please, but possesses a craftiness and nervous energy like to test any master. 25 gp

* MOWNAMY, a seasoned BLOODHOUND once beloved as a fox-hunting dog by RUGGIERO BADARELLI, who has been slowly forced to liquidate many of his assets due to year-after-year losses from the locust-plagued vineyards of his COUNTRY MANOR in the FOREST GORNATE. 25 gp

SERVICES AVAILABLE at the OLDE TOWN DIOCESE

 

• Holy Water: 25 gp, 7 flasks available

• Antivenom: 100 gp, allows for an additional save vs poison, 1 flask available

RARE ITEMS at the PENNYPINCHER COLLECTION

• Our first item comes from the personal effects of SGT. HENRI D'ARAMITZ, who met his doom in CASTLE XYNTILLIAN, seduced by SYBILLE MALEVOL aka the WIDOWMAKER.

• Identified as a PRIME ROD, it is believed to serve as a magical key to the accompanying TREASURE MAP, which may lead to the HYQUEOUS VAULTS, believed to be somewhere in the STONECROWS.

• Price: 1400 GP

• Golden clasp - 300 GP

• Electrum Circlet - 600 GP

• Gilded Bracers - 2200 GP

•  Silver cup - 20 GP

• Chill Parasol - 5000 GP